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Hey Welcome! I’m Crispina ffrench
Artist, Educator, Empowerer, Plant Eater,
Nature Lover, Cookie Baker, Climate Change Activist
I’m glad you are here, Now let’s make shift happen.

Journal – 06.29.20

As we head off toward Independence Day I am reminded of the independence in my life.  Nearly a year ago my sweet son and BFF died. He lived with a diagnosed cardio-myopathy for 24 of his 26 years.  Diagnosed at 2 and a half, when we were told he would live for 18 months.

Just today I was tidying up my computer and ran across the last few months worth of our text conversations.  Not sure how that happened cause the last time when searching for them they did not appear.  It feels sure that Ben communicates with me from the other side.  

Rereading the texts had me reliving those last weeks of his deep anxiety and fear of the pending heart/lung transplant facing him.  The more than weekly appointments at the top doctors in Boston helping us into the process that never came to be.  The sleepless nights, coughing blood, the messing with prescription dosages seeking the perfect balance for his well-being, watching the person I have loved the most, for longest struggle and decline, all the while staying supportive and hopeful. All the while staying present available and open to whatever could possibly come next.  All the while praying to the universe to keep my heart from breaking wide open in wake of his moving beyond this realm.

I am free from all that now but also buried in the mourning only a parent who has lost their brave sweet smart kind child could know.  

Hummm independence.  

I’ll take it, only because I know that Ben is flying free now.  May his messages be forever clear and strong


#independence #ecoentrepreneur #recycle #since1987 #sidekick #alwaysbymyside #singlemomsinglekid#foreverstrong #Ilovemyson #madeformore #freenow #misshim #prayersgoingup #holdingittogether#tiedtogether #kidsteach #teacher #ecoliving #thepowerofhumans #spreadlove#proudmom #smartandsuccessful @BenPaleyMusic #flyfree #family #thedolphinstudio

Journal – 06.29.20

As we head off toward Independence Day I am reminded of the independence in my life.  Nearly a year ago my sweet son and BFF died. He lived with a diagnosed cardio-myopathy for 24 of his 26 years.  Diagnosed at 2 and a half, when we were told he would live for 18 months.

Just today I was tidying up my computer and ran across the last few months worth of our text conversations.  Not sure how that happened cause the last time when searching for them they did not appear.  It feels sure that Ben communicates with me from the other side.  

Rereading the texts had me reliving those last weeks of his deep anxiety and fear of the pending heart/lung transplant facing him.  The more than weekly appointments at the top doctors in Boston helping us into the process that never came to be.  The sleepless nights, coughing blood, the messing with prescription dosages seeking the perfect balance for his well-being, watching the person I have loved the most, for longest struggle and decline, all the while staying supportive and hopeful. All the while staying present available and open to whatever could possibly come next.  All the while praying to the universe to keep my heart from breaking wide open in wake of his moving beyond this realm.

I am free from all that now but also buried in the mourning only a parent who has lost their brave sweet smart kind child could know.  

Hummm independence.  

I’ll take it, only because I know that Ben is flying free now.  May his messages be forever clear and strong


#independence #ecoentrepreneur #recycle #since1987 #sidekick #alwaysbymyside #singlemomsinglekid#foreverstrong #Ilovemyson #madeformore #freenow #misshim #prayersgoingup #holdingittogether#tiedtogether #kidsteach #teacher #ecoliving #thepowerofhumans #spreadlove#proudmom #smartandsuccessful @BenPaleyMusic #flyfree #family #thedolphinstudio

Journal – 06.29.20

As we head off toward Independence Day I am reminded of the independence in my life.  Nearly a year ago my sweet son and BFF died. He lived with a diagnosed cardio-myopathy for 24 of his 26 years.  Diagnosed at 2 and a half, when we were told he would live for 18 months.

Just today I was tidying up my computer and ran across the last few months worth of our text conversations.  Not sure how that happened cause the last time when searching for them they did not appear.  It feels sure that Ben communicates with me from the other side.  

Rereading the texts had me reliving those last weeks of his deep anxiety and fear of the pending heart/lung transplant facing him.  The more than weekly appointments at the top doctors in Boston helping us into the process that never came to be.  The sleepless nights, coughing blood, the messing with prescription dosages seeking the perfect balance for his well-being, watching the person I have loved the most, for longest struggle and decline, all the while staying supportive and hopeful. All the while staying present available and open to whatever could possibly come next.  All the while praying to the universe to keep my heart from breaking wide open in wake of his moving beyond this realm.

I am free from all that now but also buried in the mourning only a parent who has lost their brave sweet smart kind child could know.  

Hummm independence.  

I’ll take it, only because I know that Ben is flying free now.  May his messages be forever clear and strong


#independence #ecoentrepreneur #recycle #since1987 #sidekick #alwaysbymyside #singlemomsinglekid#foreverstrong #Ilovemyson #madeformore #freenow #misshim #prayersgoingup #holdingittogether#tiedtogether #kidsteach #teacher #ecoliving #thepowerofhumans #spreadlove#proudmom #smartandsuccessful @BenPaleyMusic #flyfree #family #thedolphinstudio

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