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Hey Welcome! I’m Crispina ffrench
Artist, Educator, Empowerer, Plant Eater,
Nature Lover, Cookie Baker, Climate Change Activist
I’m glad you are here, Now let’s make shift happen.

03.26.20 Journal

My sister Felicitas ffrench

I have this beautiful sister who has been living with Multiple Sclerosis for all of her adult life.

For the last 16 years she has been holed up in a nursing care facility that is, I dare say, a little gross. Dank, not a lot of natural light, kinda (very) stinky, and full of people in similar situations as my sweet sister. It was a heartbreaking family decision to have to sign her up for this place but honestly, at the time she was spewing anger making her care even more difficult and her daily needs were great. You know, kinda like EVERYTHING from cooking, cleaning, even eating, and certainly all her personal hygiene were tasks she was loosing the ability to do without help. She was rip-shit about it all. This god damn disease had stolen her focus, swept her off her path through Stanford Law School and into living in her childhood home in Stockbridge MA, far away from her chosen culture in Emeryville and then Oakland CA.

My dad would visit her every day. Bring her coffee, flowers, read her poetry, and converse.

When he passed away 10 years ago, I made a commitment to myself that I would visit her weekly with ice cream and flowers and good company. Sometimes I bring my knitting and just sit with her for a few hours as she dozes in and out. Most times I feed her locally produced premium ice cream from one of the handful of makers in our locale - it has to be smooth because chewing and swallowing are more and more difficult. And we read comments from these posts - she just can't get over how many people send her love and good wishes! You really add joy to this girl's life.

Between visits my other sister, Sofia and I wonder how long Felicitas will hold on to this marginal existence. We talk of ways to help her find a path out of what we see as purgatory. The idea of assisted suicide has come up more than once.

Then I see her and she lights right up. She is so happy to see me whenever we are together. Just a couple of months ago she told me that she is having the best year of her life. All the years I've spent making the weekly hour-long trek to visit her, it is clear that as much as I feel compelled to hold the torch for my dad, to bring her joy and remind her that she is loved, she is doing the same for me.

Last week I couldn't visit her, this week either. The coronavirus has her place on total lock-down until god knows when. It was her birthday on the 18th. (She thinks she is 32 and being that she is my older sister I thought, why not just roll with that - if she is 32 I am 30. Yes! I loved being 30.)

You know what is even more awesome?

The people who care for Felicitas.

They are actually, literally, angels. They work long hours in a physically demanding job. They are spit on, bitten, screamed at, and hit by clients unable to discern their grace and kindness, yet they remain patient and continue to smile and engage. One of them brought my sister ice cream and flowers from me for her birthday and when I wanted to pay her for her time and expense she refused. She said she loves my sister. This woman, and her co-workers are the reason why my sister lives where she lives. The place might be dark, run down and stinky but the people who care for her, who are under appreciated, under paid, and honestly go unnoticed by our culture, they love her. I am blesses and thankful (and I wish the corporation that employs these angels could pay them what they are worth and give them a nicer place to work).

#CNAappreciation #nursesareangels #felicitasffrench #Ilovemysister #MSsucks #sendinglovefromafar #socialdistancing #lovehersmile #spreadlove #appreciatetheworkers #fightforfairwages #gratitude #ffrenchfamily #StanfordLawSchoolGraduate #blessedtohavehealth #alwayssmiling #thankful #importantjobs #importantpeople #appreciation #jobqualitymatters

03.26.20 Journal

My sister Felicitas ffrench

I have this beautiful sister who has been living with Multiple Sclerosis for all of her adult life.

For the last 16 years she has been holed up in a nursing care facility that is, I dare say, a little gross. Dank, not a lot of natural light, kinda (very) stinky, and full of people in similar situations as my sweet sister. It was a heartbreaking family decision to have to sign her up for this place but honestly, at the time she was spewing anger making her care even more difficult and her daily needs were great. You know, kinda like EVERYTHING from cooking, cleaning, even eating, and certainly all her personal hygiene were tasks she was loosing the ability to do without help. She was rip-shit about it all. This god damn disease had stolen her focus, swept her off her path through Stanford Law School and into living in her childhood home in Stockbridge MA, far away from her chosen culture in Emeryville and then Oakland CA.

My dad would visit her every day. Bring her coffee, flowers, read her poetry, and converse.

When he passed away 10 years ago, I made a commitment to myself that I would visit her weekly with ice cream and flowers and good company. Sometimes I bring my knitting and just sit with her for a few hours as she dozes in and out. Most times I feed her locally produced premium ice cream from one of the handful of makers in our locale - it has to be smooth because chewing and swallowing are more and more difficult. And we read comments from these posts - she just can't get over how many people send her love and good wishes! You really add joy to this girl's life.

Between visits my other sister, Sofia and I wonder how long Felicitas will hold on to this marginal existence. We talk of ways to help her find a path out of what we see as purgatory. The idea of assisted suicide has come up more than once.

Then I see her and she lights right up. She is so happy to see me whenever we are together. Just a couple of months ago she told me that she is having the best year of her life. All the years I've spent making the weekly hour-long trek to visit her, it is clear that as much as I feel compelled to hold the torch for my dad, to bring her joy and remind her that she is loved, she is doing the same for me.

Last week I couldn't visit her, this week either. The coronavirus has her place on total lock-down until god knows when. It was her birthday on the 18th. (She thinks she is 32 and being that she is my older sister I thought, why not just roll with that - if she is 32 I am 30. Yes! I loved being 30.)

You know what is even more awesome?

The people who care for Felicitas.

They are actually, literally, angels. They work long hours in a physically demanding job. They are spit on, bitten, screamed at, and hit by clients unable to discern their grace and kindness, yet they remain patient and continue to smile and engage. One of them brought my sister ice cream and flowers from me for her birthday and when I wanted to pay her for her time and expense she refused. She said she loves my sister. This woman, and her co-workers are the reason why my sister lives where she lives. The place might be dark, run down and stinky but the people who care for her, who are under appreciated, under paid, and honestly go unnoticed by our culture, they love her. I am blesses and thankful (and I wish the corporation that employs these angels could pay them what they are worth and give them a nicer place to work).

#CNAappreciation #nursesareangels #felicitasffrench #Ilovemysister #MSsucks #sendinglovefromafar #socialdistancing #lovehersmile #spreadlove #appreciatetheworkers #fightforfairwages #gratitude #ffrenchfamily #StanfordLawSchoolGraduate #blessedtohavehealth #alwayssmiling #thankful #importantjobs #importantpeople #appreciation #jobqualitymatters

03.26.20 Journal

My sister Felicitas ffrench

I have this beautiful sister who has been living with Multiple Sclerosis for all of her adult life.

For the last 16 years she has been holed up in a nursing care facility that is, I dare say, a little gross. Dank, not a lot of natural light, kinda (very) stinky, and full of people in similar situations as my sweet sister. It was a heartbreaking family decision to have to sign her up for this place but honestly, at the time she was spewing anger making her care even more difficult and her daily needs were great. You know, kinda like EVERYTHING from cooking, cleaning, even eating, and certainly all her personal hygiene were tasks she was loosing the ability to do without help. She was rip-shit about it all. This god damn disease had stolen her focus, swept her off her path through Stanford Law School and into living in her childhood home in Stockbridge MA, far away from her chosen culture in Emeryville and then Oakland CA.

My dad would visit her every day. Bring her coffee, flowers, read her poetry, and converse.

When he passed away 10 years ago, I made a commitment to myself that I would visit her weekly with ice cream and flowers and good company. Sometimes I bring my knitting and just sit with her for a few hours as she dozes in and out. Most times I feed her locally produced premium ice cream from one of the handful of makers in our locale - it has to be smooth because chewing and swallowing are more and more difficult. And we read comments from these posts - she just can't get over how many people send her love and good wishes! You really add joy to this girl's life.

Between visits my other sister, Sofia and I wonder how long Felicitas will hold on to this marginal existence. We talk of ways to help her find a path out of what we see as purgatory. The idea of assisted suicide has come up more than once.

Then I see her and she lights right up. She is so happy to see me whenever we are together. Just a couple of months ago she told me that she is having the best year of her life. All the years I've spent making the weekly hour-long trek to visit her, it is clear that as much as I feel compelled to hold the torch for my dad, to bring her joy and remind her that she is loved, she is doing the same for me.

Last week I couldn't visit her, this week either. The coronavirus has her place on total lock-down until god knows when. It was her birthday on the 18th. (She thinks she is 32 and being that she is my older sister I thought, why not just roll with that - if she is 32 I am 30. Yes! I loved being 30.)

You know what is even more awesome?

The people who care for Felicitas.

They are actually, literally, angels. They work long hours in a physically demanding job. They are spit on, bitten, screamed at, and hit by clients unable to discern their grace and kindness, yet they remain patient and continue to smile and engage. One of them brought my sister ice cream and flowers from me for her birthday and when I wanted to pay her for her time and expense she refused. She said she loves my sister. This woman, and her co-workers are the reason why my sister lives where she lives. The place might be dark, run down and stinky but the people who care for her, who are under appreciated, under paid, and honestly go unnoticed by our culture, they love her. I am blesses and thankful (and I wish the corporation that employs these angels could pay them what they are worth and give them a nicer place to work).

#CNAappreciation #nursesareangels #felicitasffrench #Ilovemysister #MSsucks #sendinglovefromafar #socialdistancing #lovehersmile #spreadlove #appreciatetheworkers #fightforfairwages #gratitude #ffrenchfamily #StanfordLawSchoolGraduate #blessedtohavehealth #alwayssmiling #thankful #importantjobs #importantpeople #appreciation #jobqualitymatters

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