There IS A Path Outta Here

 

Hello Sweet Earthling ~

Lately I have been going deep inside and clarifying what path to take. If you have been around awhile you know that the road has been a little rocky for me since the death of the best son in the world, (my son Ben). He was 26 and was an awesome guitarist, playing in a few different wedding bands and his passion project, The Lost Collective. He was a great home cook, the best big brother in the world, solid travel companion, enlightened conversationalist, and fricken fuuny.

He and I were tight. We spent a lot of time together. He introduced me to all sorts of music, we went to shows together, shared recipes, ate oysters, laughed our asses off, and we went to Dr.’s appointments together.

Ben was going through the super grueling process of getting evaluated for a heart/lung transplant. He actually made the list the day after he died on July 30, 2019.

He had a cardio-myopathy and was diagnosed when he was 2. At that time the doctors told us he would live...

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Living an Embraceable Life

Welcome to my Blog.

My name is Crispina ffrench, I am a founder of the used-clothing recycling craft genre, a life long screen printer, outdoor enthusiast, wife, friend, coach and mom to two tweenage daughters and an adult son.

I’ve been processing. Traveling through some super darkness and fogginess these last two months.

See, my son died on July 30.  I guess we had an unusual connection.  We spent a ton of time together, not only was he one of my favorite humans, he was diagnosed at the age of two with a cardio-myopathy.  We were told that he would likely live for about 18 months. He was 26 when he died.

The most common ‘symptom’ of Ben’s heart condition was sudden death so we all knew the day would come.

When he was diagnosed we were sent home from the cardio ICU at Boston Childrens’ Hospital on seven doses of medication a day. One of Ben’s meds was a compound our locally owned pharmacy made for him. It was a liquid that had to...

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Finding Happiness

Through my work as a textile-recycling artist, I have noticed that making, using discarded materials, builds a sense of contentment, of satisfaction and actually, even - empowerment. Witnessing this transition is why I love teaching my craft.

Recently it has become clear to me that teaching my craft serves people on many levels:

Firstly, it serves me – empowering people really rocks my world.

And secondly participants in my retreats and workshops come for many reasons that usually fall into these categories:

Some students want to master my craft. These folks are sometimes interested in building a portfolio or even a business using skills honed of my tutelage, cause they love to work with their hands and making stuff with discarded materials makes them feel magical. (Makes me feel that way too!)

Others want to delve into a simple process of turning garbage into treasure for fun. That sounds a little dramatic but the truth is that my process opens the door into that realm.

Often...

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Uncharted Territory

family grieving re-entry Aug 24, 2019

New terrain here – walking through my days with a sense of loss and lostness while at the same time feeling more connected than ever to my friends and community. The outpouring of love and support holds me up, keeps my knees from buckling with grief. Helps me know that I can find some sort of normal.

Ben taught me that finding a secure positive path forward is the right way. He taught me that I have that power even in the face of an unexpected, or at least unprepared for, seismic shift that changes my path.

So, now, for Lucy and for Violet, I am seeking a place to land where I can earn a living, support you with a direction toward all that is wonderful and use my own advice to find my path to our shared destination. For Lucy and Violet I need to land, in a place of processing and a new normal with the idea of a sunny, positive and fun-loving future, just around the corner. 

Before things in my life began spinning, I had this idea that my gift is actually to help people...

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Remembering Ben

family grieving re-entry Aug 15, 2019
My family - L to R, Brother-in-Law Pat, Sister Sofia, Niece Lily, Me, Niece Jamie, Son Ben, Daughter Lucy, Husband Chris, Daughter Violet photo taken December2018.

I have had the most difficult last two weeks in my life. My sweet son Ben died on July 30. He was 26. He had lived his life with cardio-myopathy and resulting pulmonary hypertension. Diagnosed at 2.5 years and given 18 months to live. He far surpassed any medical expectation and filled our lives with love and music. I’m reeling over here while holding his love close and knowing we had a beautiful time together.

This chapter of my life is kinda weird for me. Feeling so vulnerable and sharing that here – it feels authentic yet a bit uncomfortably public. Having thought deeply about it for the last two weeks, it feels right. It feels like this change in my life has an impact on my forward motion. So to be truly authentic it feels important to share this here.

As I navigate re-entry into business and making...

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