So here I am

Blogging....this is definitely a new experience for me. I have never been one to let the world see anything that I have written so bear with me through this. I am excited to join this journey through this blog and I am eager to learn about the other 6 woman that are going through this journey with me. I am excited to grow and find out more about myself through this as well. So here I am. 

 

...but who am I 

Well I am an 18 year old, I currently go to Berkshire Community College, I am not working at the moment, I hang out with my friends as much as I can especially when they are home from school, I have 7 month old dreads, I have been vegan for almost 2 years, I am passionate about the problems that are happening the world, I like going to music festivals, I play the ukelele and
I sing, blah bah blah 

That is just regular 18 year old things and those things don't define me as a person...If I am being honest I have no idea who I am. I have spent to much time trying to figure that out. I have been trying new activities like knitting, wire wrapping, painting, and drawing. I have been spending more time with my family. I guess mostly you could just say that I have been bored. Without my friends to distract me I have been alone and finding ways to distract my mind. 

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With winter, my friends being gone and just getting out of a verbally abusive relationship with my ex boyfriend, I have realized how easy it has been to slip into depression. Depression has been running my life these past few weeks. I know that the best way to get rid out it is to get out in the world and be active and happy, but most days I just want to isolate myself and not talk to anyone. which is the worst way to deal with it. Im learning, Im growing, Im getting help. Reaching out and getting help which is something I learned was necessary to avoid scary thoughts and isolation. So here I am... Learning growing and experiencing as much as I can to find out who I am. 

Right now I am learning acceptance and patience with the process. I realize that I am not going to accept myself overnight. I am not going to figure out who I am and what it means to be me overnight. So I am accepting that. I am scared for my future. I am scared for whats next because I have no idea. That feeling of not knowing used to excite me now I am scared. I am Learning to accept that scariness with help and guidance from the earthlings around me and this blog is just the beginning of a long journey. So here I am...just an 18 year old girl trying to find her place in the world. 

follow my journey through pictures on

instgram: @siobhan_13