my mission

I think that half of us feel fraudulent in our lives anyways. There’s that strange dissconnect of not really knowing what we are doing sometimes, or why it matters. It’s our extensial crisis
— Carrie Brownstein
IMG_1640.JPG

Sorry I don't have any creative title ideas this week, but i was too exciting to start writing about this weeks theme...my mission. 

Carrie Brownstein is a feminist and a strong powerful woman. She is a woman who I consider a role model. I have always looked up to her when I was growing up. When I found out the theme of this week I thought of her because she is someone who has accomplished so many of the obstacles that I am interested in doing. I don't know a whole lot about myself yet, I am still learning who I am. How am I suppose to know what my mission is if I don't even know who I am?

Mission before I begin writing about my mission I want to discuss the meaning of the word mission because that was my immediate response when I saw this weeks theme. The word mission to me means goals, accomplishments, and power. It is such a powerful word don't you agree? The thought of someone on a mission, not letting anything get in their way to accomplish their goal. 

Okay so what is my mission...my mission with the first month of 2018 coming to an end is to focus on school. I want to achieve as much knowledge about myself and the world around me as I can. Going to school is something I have recognized to be a must in these next few years. I don't necessarily want to go to school for the getting out getting a good job so I can make good money. I could careless about money at this point. I have realized it is something I need to support my basic needs. I want to go to school for the social experience of it, the mental experience also. School in my eyes is going to help me understand who I am in the next chapter of my life. 

That is a goal, to finish school and take as much from it as it comes at my is this next stage. 

I recently got accepted to Portland State University in Oregon. If I decide to go there in the fall, my mission is to be as ready as I can be and to welcome the new world of the west coast with open arms. I do not want to isolate myself or shy away from the new things around me. I want to embrace everything about being so far away from the place I have been my whole life. This thought was exciting for me when I first was applying, being so far away sounded fun and adventurous, now that I am accepted...lets just say it how it is...Shit just got real!

Now I am getting a little scared. I am scared that I will get out there and nothing will be like I thought it was going to be and I am going to hate it and such, but thats just my anxiety talking. When I take a look back at the whole situation I realize that I could either make the west coast a horrible experience or I could make it a great experience. I am in control of whether or not I am going to like it. There are good and bad parts to every area in the world and it is up to me to take away the good not the bad. The west coast is my next mission and for the time until then my mission will be to mentally preparing myself. 

I am going to take the next 7 months of being in Berkshire county to heal and prepare for what I am about to experience. My mission is to be ready. 

 

IMG_1452.JPG