Changing up the game

over the past year I have changed drastically...

These past 12 months have been filled with nonstop change. After Graduating Pittsfield High school I began a process of transition that I never had experienced before. I was growing up!!!!!

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I started working at the Dreamaway lodge. Falling in love with my job and the people I worked with. Falling in love with summer and all the happiness and sunshine it brings. And Falling in love with Zach. He is my ex now of course, but he is an important part of my story. 

I met Zach at the Dreamaway, because where else do you find the love of your life? Anyway it was love at first sight...I can't exactly explain why I felt such a connection with him when our eyes first met, but I did. We fell in love over the next few weeks and I can say that he was the first love I had really experienced. Not recognizing any red flags, being blind to the obvious things I should have noticed. I wanted to be in love with someone who loved me. I felt on top of the world. 

The Dreamaway and Zach are two of the reasons I am the person I am today. I have made such amazing friends at the Dreamaway, people who have shared there stories with me. People who tease me about being the youngest but at the end of the summer pulled me aside to say how much they had seen me grow up over the summer. I was becoming an adult. I was traveling with Zach. I was having fun. Learning what it was like to be young and in love. 

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Unfortunately summer love can only last so long, as soon as the leaves started changing and the weather started to cool down.Zach and I broke up. Heartbreak was all I felt. Losing the first person I had fallen in love with was the worst pain I have ever felt, not physically but mentally. Of course after breaking up and getting back together. Awful fights. evil words thrown back and forth. It all happened so fast. Then it was over. Now its over

Last January I was just a girl getting ready to graduate and go to school. hanging out with my friends, still trying to fight for freedom with my parents, barely paying attention in school. Then as soon as I graduate I fell in love. I grew up. I fell out of love. All in one year I have become completely changed and gone through experiences that my friends and other peers weren't going through. 

With winter now here I have changed my entire mindset. I am no longer young and in love, but I am learning what it means to have your entire world changed in the blink of an eye. I have come to accept that things are not what they seem. I have come to accept that anything can happen at any minute that could change the course of my future. I have come to accept change.