Ch Ch Ch Changes

Writing about Change

What has changed?

My perspective is different.

If we want different results we need to do things differently

My husband and I will celebrate our 14th wedding anniversary this fall.  We began dating in June, got engaged in July and were married in October 2004.  Our love story began when we met at ages 3 and 5 so you could say we knew each other pretty well by the time we finally realized our magical connection.  Seems like it happened fast but actually it started really really slowly.

 photo credit: Lindy Smith

photo credit: Lindy Smith

The breakneck speed factor worked itself in when two years after marrying we had two more kids (totaling 3) and had freshly purchased a majestic church and rectory in the heart of the biggest city in The Berkshires where my well-established recycling production company relocated.  We each had 40 employees and ran companies of the same age that we started as young professionals.  His, a plumbing and heating company.  Mine, a home furnishing and clothing manufacturing company.  Both all consuming and wonderful.  The second and third kids came along in such quick succession that my head spun.  The purchase of the giant regal church and rectory next door was, like my sweet hubby, a dream.

 photo credit: Jane Feldman

photo credit: Jane Feldman

We moved out of the house where my eldest and I had lived for 11 years in Great Barrington and moved every time we had one of the six living units developed in the rectory.  When the economy crashed in 2008 I realized that our overflowing lives were too full and my tailspin began. Mail, paperwork, building plans, and business transitions piled high and were set aside while I held down the homefront. My eldest was entering high school and transitioning into a new living situation. My babies were babies and my husband was plumbing 7 days a week.  It was our first winter together when it became clear to me that being married to a plumber is sort of like being married to an emergency room doctor. When the weather is cold and people have no heat the plumber goes to help, whenever it is needed. That first Christmas he went on 7 emergency calls.  I felt happy to know that my husband is a kind and caring person who takes pride in his work and is always willing to help – with a smile – no matter what time of day.  He is a wonderful man, father, and partner. 

 photo credit: Crispina ffrench

photo credit: Crispina ffrench

The chaos that was those first couple of years became the norm.  Plans are hard to make when you are unsure about your home responsibilities, Will I need to be on child duty single-handedly?  Will hubby be able to give me and hour or two to catch up with bills?  Will I be able to work for an hour after the babies head to slumber? I lost all control over my daily life.  Even the workplace I had created since college graduation nearly 18 years earlier was changing as my short-lived business partner (and fairy godmother) moved toward retirement.  I just rolled with it all.  I worked really hard, everyday, made beautiful things, and did my best at parenting, understanding building redevelopment, and reinvented myself as an author/teacher/maker/landlord/property developer.

I am creating change in my days.  Organizing, Downsizing, Filing, Purging, Making, and staying focused on the goal of having control, oh and learning to politely say no.